Last night’s train journey home from Birmingham couldn’t have been more bizarre! Firstly, Jon McGovern - @jmgcreative and I, after enjoying a nice concert at the O2 academy decided we were a little peckish and that a trip to New Street’s Marks & Spencers Simply Food should do the trick.

On getting on the train back to Leicester and securing ourselves a table seat, we spread out our feast of goodies before us… A little bottle of Beaujolais red wine, a selection of mini cheeses, including Brie, Red Leicester (Ofcourse), some cheddar and a M&S version of Babybell. We opened our box of crackers and our jar of caramelised red onion chutney… not thinking anything of it… then looking over we saw @thisisdavid - Comedian David Morgan  

who compered @AlmanackHighx comedy night on Tuesday and fellow Comedienne Tamika Campbell quietly tucking into their Burger King meals. Sat opposite us were a very drunken, but very friendly lesbian couple returning home from watching the Man Utd match with their friends, who all appeared a little worse for wear, swaying slightly as they slurred their way through celebratory Man U football chants.

Suddenly eating wine and cheese seemed a little too civilised for a Saturday night snack in public, as the much amused lesbian couple soon pointed out.

The conversation turned to funny british sayings and idiosyncrasies and so Tamika Campbell, not missing this enlightening and rather educational opportunity, fished out her notebook to garner some specially-tailored British material for her next Leicester gig.

It was a funny crowd… @jmgcreative and I with our wine and cheese, the off-duty Comedian’s - as funny a fellow passenger as one could ever wish for - and the drunken lesbian football fans who would spontaneously burst into song!

After a while though… the atmosphere was soured by the sound of a drink-fuelled commotion and a “THWAAAACK” as one of the very drunken male football fans was punched in the face by another equally drunken football fan… OH GOD….

Then… a stranger suddenly steps in… (a man of tall, slim stature who one could have dismissed as “a lanky streak of piss”  a man you would never expect to be the kind to step in and break up a fight does exactly that… he steps in) putting himself at risk… to stop the blows thrown by the rest of the group of football louts at this drunk, stupid, shouty-fighty man.

Tamika Campbell notices this charmingly brave gentleman’s behaviour and swoons outwardly… This before non-descript sort of man has suddenly undergone a Clark Kent/Superman style transformation. A showing of manly behaviour, an unexpected act of bravery, which I believe can only be described as ‘Throw-down’ usually only associated with the likes of Chuck Bass…

It’s the type of behaviour that every red-blooded woman finds attractive in a man. Behaviour that shows that if you were ever in trouble, he would step-up to the table and be able to look after you in that Knight-in-shining-armour style fashion. Aaah… 

And so… at Hinckley… the idiot-fighting-man… with much insistence from the rest of the carriage… is ejected from the train… much to the relief of the other passengers.

Peace is restored.

It was probably the most exciting train journey from Birmingham to Leicester that ever was.