How can a wellness retreat help reconnect you to your purpose in life? [AD - Press Invite]
There comes a day when we will all arrive at a particular moment in our lives – A moment that feels like you're at a crossroads. you could carry on doing what you've always done or you can stop, think and change direction. A moment when you can be fucking bold.
But change is scary, isn't it? How do you find the courage to buck a trend? How do you find the motivation to do something different, the strength, the money, the inspiration to live differently, to think differently? It can be hard.
Many of us will never change direction. Instead, we will happily — maybe somewhat blindly or blissfully — carry on doing what we've always done. Settling? Maybe. Being happy…? To an extent, but not fully living, not really maximising our full potential — not “living our best lives”. No, I’m not talking about painting your new front door a shade of millennial ‘Confetti Pink’, like me.
And, I guess, this ambivalence to change, to do something that feels different to us – this fear we are driven by, held captive by – means we’re unlikely to feel the sense of fulfilment that we would, if we were brave enough to have changed direction, whenever we had the opportunity.
It takes courage to be vulnerable, to truly seize a moment and give it all you can.
But, the good thing is: we've all got the chance to change. For many of us that change in direction may look like a change of career – perhaps moving from that of a Carpenter to a Cloud Engineer, as one lad I spoke to recently on a dating app shared… It could be shaking off the chains of an unhealthy, imbalanced and unhappy long-term relationship. It could be a change of gender or a reclaiming of your identity or sexuality — it could be change of scenery or location, a change of friends or interests. It could be a change of financial circumstances, of getting out of debt. What I’m trying to say is that it could be anything!
Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation, an opportunity, and a little imagination – a little chink of light, where somebody goes: fuck this and inspires you to take a different path.
Lauren Burton aka The Compassion Coach raising two fingers to the things that hold us back in life
And when that little light bulb goes on in your head, and you think: hang on a minute... If I carry on doing what I’m doing, what I've always been doing, I'm going to burnout. Soon. I'm going to be desperately unhappy. And have ghosts of regret at my bedside. And you know what? I’d rather not live with any regrets of the things I haven’t been brave enough to do - to try - to experience.
Watch this video by Denzel Washington - it’s amazing!! You’ll see what I’m saying about ghosts…
Every morning we wake up and we have an opportunity to do something different. But, as I've said before, it's very easy to carry on doing what we've always done. To not rock the boat. To not stand out from the crowd. To not speak up. To stick with the status quo. Why? Because it is safe.
So sometimes, we almost need to be strong-armed by ourselves — by an opportunity, or maybe even by our loved ones — into trying something new, into taking that different path, into trusting ourselves, into finding that belief or that new vision, and eventually that sense of purpose, and our sense of identity.
Last week, Autumn 2022, I went on my first-ever wellness retreat. The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat, ran by Compassionate Inquiry Practitioner / Coach, Lauren Burton aka The Compassion Coach and Transformational Leadership Coach / Shamanic Practitioner Clare Marriott. And you know what? It was more than I could ever have imagined.
Clare Marriott Leadership Coach and Shamanic Practitioner and Lauren Burton The Compassion Coach running an outdoor group therapy session at The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat
And when I say “more” and I don't mean “uh, oh my God, it was so luxurious!” Yes, it was in 5-star settings, but what I mean is, holistically and terms of relaxation, we were well looked after. Wellness as a whole means looking after yourself, after your wellbeing, your mental health, physical health, spiritual health, emotional health, and the Ibiza Reconnection Retreat catered for all of those aspects. And because of this, it meant we had the safe space required to do some of the Deep Work. Each day, we were cooked for, by the incredible plant-based chef Remko and his team.
Nourishment from inside and out - plant-based delights by Remko The Healthy Chef
And it was such a privilege to be invited along, to take an opportunity - six days for myself to sit down as one of a small group of women starting a new journey. Together, we started a transformation. Together, we looked at how to put an end to bad habits, to stop feeling triggered, to stop not believing in yourself. To embrace and celebrate all of the parts of us that make us unique.
Vision boarding at The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat
And just, you know, it really made me want to take life by the horns again and just think “this is my chance.” This is my one opportunity. This is my moment. This is everything." We have one chance. One life."
One more night… Booked myself into the rather luxurious boutique Montesol Experimental Hotel in Ibiza Town. Opening in 1933, this place has bags of character and charm for those who love to indulge.
So, I will confess, when I got that flight to Ibiza - slightly frazzled and still jet-lagged from a recent work trip to California, ready to be collected by Lauren. At the airport, I met two beautiful women. But, you know what it's like when you're in your 30s… And you're like, I don't know, you might be like me, you might not. Will I get on with you? Will you even like me?
I’m fortunate to have many good friends. You know, I've got people that I've met at different moments in my life. Friends who stuck by me, through thick and thin – and I'm like “do I need anymore friends??” And because of that, I'm always a bit resistant when faced with an opportunity to meet new ones. However, all of these women that I'd meet over the next few days were truly incredible human beings. In the end, I had to kind of almost shake myself and be like “okay, Lucie, stop being cynical, open your mind. Open your heart, open your ears. Look at these, look at these beautiful women and see them for what they are.” And you know what that was? A mirror.
It was simultaneously one of the most intensely uplifting and one of the most confronting experiences, that I've ever had – but in a really positive way.
Each day’s schedule was a carefully planned journey, leaving us enough “space” to do a series of different physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional exercises. Each activity would, in its own way, kind of scratch below the surface of the things that held us back. Lifting away layers of layers of ourselves. Revealing our own truth. The stories we told ourselves. You know, the journeys we've been on… the childhood traumas, all of that kind of stuff was delved into over this six day period.
Hiking Ibiza coastal walks - The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat
And I don't think anyone who goes through that kind of experience can come out unchanged, can not come out wanting to be a better person, a better version of themselves. I went in there wanting to confront the fact that there's a lot of things I do or want to do in my life, but I hold myself back. Often because, until now, I didn’t have either the motivation or self belief to follow them through. I went into this retreat experience wanting to truly trust in myself, in my power, in my abilities.
Or, you know, I have these little like passion projects – a book I’ve been writing on and off for 7-years. But I always got stuck, thinking: “Well, who'd want to read that? Who would want to hear about this?” In my head, I've had this little voice — a judgy, little judgy voice going? “Well, who? Who is she to write about that?” and “No, I wouldn’t bother - why should they care about what you have to say?” It’s time to put a stop to it.
Bougainvillea framed views at The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat
And on this trip, amongst those incredibly strong women, I realised that there's so many things that we tell ourselves since childhood, but that they're not actually true. One of the most profound moments of the retreat, and one of the most incredibly difficult and uncomfortable for me to sit with was hearing other women, other people acknowledge you. Acknowledge your existence, your qualities, your beauty – and tell you directly who you are, or what they see in you. I bawled my eyes out.
I'm really, absolutely shocking at accepting compliments, you know, I'll bat them away. So if somebody says, Oh, have you got a new coat? And I'm like, Oh, it was only in the sale? Or? No, you are very good at this, and I'm like, Oh, well, blah blah blah… and I always make myself smaller.
Outdoor yoga at The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat
And I've realised that in my life and in relationships, and particularly in my romantic relationships, this kind of coping mechanism that I do, in order to stay safe, to make myself smaller, to avoid rejection, avoid abandonment, fear, all of that, and mainly to avoid upsetting somebody. It has to stop.
It makes you realise when somebody shines a light on it, how those behaviours, those learned behaviours, those habits, how they trickle into other areas of our life. And ultimately, how they hold us back. How they stop of showing up fully.
And so I came away from this experience, almost, you know, like somebody was shaking me and thinking, “you need to stop this now. You need to stop thinking, you're not good enough. You need to stop thinking you can't do this.” “Look at everything you have managed to achieve, despite all of the shit that life has thrown your way.”
And each time I tell myself, I'm lucky, I am lucky, I know that. I've got a family that loves me, friends that love me. A good job. A good life. And I've worked hard for it. I've got a lovely house, a lovely home, something I've always wanted. But it doesn't stop here. You know, the success can continue as long as we believe in ourselves. And also, it's okay to ask for help. If we are really struggling, because no one is perfect. Nobody has all their shit together. Even if it appears so on the surface. So if you are thinking that you feel like you're on a treadmill, you're unhappy in life, in love, in your career - take a moment to stop. Maybe look for a wellness retreat, do a spot of meditation, try breathwork (WOW!), try yoga. Try Shamanic healing. Go on a hike! Try something different. Carve out time for yourself. Rediscover yourself and truly learn what it is that you need to unlearn, find out what is holding you back.
Definitely didn’t need to pack so much… note to self: weigh your suitcase BEFORE you check in to avoid getting a hefty 105 EUR fine from Easy Jet… Gah! Ah well!! At least. the outfit choices were plentiful…
Because as soon as you do, as soon as you start peeling those layers off, it might take a while. It might take 15 years, as Lauren said, when she was on her own personal journey, but you can achieve the things you've always dreamt off.
And that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna carry on going. I'm going to believe in myself more. And I'm going to make sure that the 12 year old Lucie, the seven year old Lucie - my inner child, and my nephews, and my nieces and my friends and family – and you reader, you – also believe that you can do it too. Because it's easy to let life grind you down. But sometimes we need to lift ourselves up, and we need to lift others up when they need it too.
So, ever wondered how can a wellness retreat in Ibiza help when you're at a crossroads in life?
Dive in and find out more about The Ibiza Reconnection Retreat and follow The Compassion Coach and Clare Marriott on Instagram, for your daily dose of goodness. I promise, you won’t regret it. Thank you so much, ladies!
P.s. Being a bit of a tech geek… I’ve just used the Otter AI app to write the first draft of this blog post. I did it by using the app to transcribe my first-ever voice note version of this blog into text form. I often struggle to sit down in front of an empty page on my laptop, and so spent about 11 minutes, whilst peeling spuds to make mash potatoes the other night, reciting my thoughts and feelings about the retreat into the voice note app. You then import into the Otter AI tool and within a matter of minutes it creates an editable text version for you. GENIUS! I then proof-read the words, making changes where necessary, and found that I can created about 1,500 words for the post. Such a great use of artificial intelligence and tech for good. Particularly if you get Writer’s Block. Looking forward to seeing how I can use this tool to write more regularly. Thanks to my friends, Harriet and Martin for the heads up about the app!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai